Post your IRC quotes!

[Felle]

A few good ones from bash.org

<zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is real?
<zexis> every 2 minutes a woman is raped in Ohio
<hal> why doesn't she just move?
<zexis> ?

<houhou> i havnt had sex in a month now
<StopNdroP> I grew a nut tree in my backyard and now it's a prize winning plant
<Yuri> wow your nuts must be huge
<Quake> please tell me youre talkin about stopndrop

<darklink570> at first i thought that "ping? pong!" was just chanserv making fun of my chinese heritage

<aeflux> I swear 85% of the CS community failed remedial english in 3rd grade
<Gunny> 85% of the CS community hasn't made it to the 3rd grade

<cppdog-> :\
<cppdog-> I just got raped at the park
<cppdog-> OS Uptime (WinME): 3hrs 55mins 35secs
<scotteh> after a good rape, the first thing you really wanna do, is check yer uptime

<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that.
<Chunda> Why half?

<Blauw> If i die and i get reincarnated, i wish i was my girlfriends pussy
<Argy> Why?
<Blauw> Then i would be able to see all my friends again

(idestroy) sigh
(idestroy) ok so
(idestroy) my friend got a handle of smirnoff vodka
(idestroy) we killed it together in like an hour
(idestroy) I went to bed
(idestroy) in boxers
(idestroy) apparently
(idestroy) I woke up and had to poo
(idestroy) instead of going to my bathroom
(idestroy) I went out into the hallway
(idestroy) into the stairwell
(idestroy) removed my boxers and placed them on the stairs
(idestroy) then took a massive liquidy shit at the top of the steps
(idestroy) walked THROUGH it
(idestroy) leaving poopy footprints
(idestroy) left my boxers there
(idestroy) went DOWN TO THE 2nd FLOOR
(idestroy) from the third
(idestroy) banged on random people's doors
(idestroy) people came out and saw me walking down the hall naked with shit on my ass
(idestroy) I made it to the stairs again
(idestroy) went back to my floor but down a few doors to my friends
(idestroy) there was like 15 people in their room
(idestroy) it was packed
(idestroy) I was naked
(idestroy) I went into their bathroom
(idestroy) and everyone was like what the fuck
(idestroy) went into the toilet stall, tried to clean my ass
(idestroy) FELL OVER AND SMEARED SHIT ON THEIR WALL
(idestroy) meanwhile someone went back to my room and got my clothes
(idestroy) and someone else found the poo
(idestroy) they brought my clothes over
(idestroy) I tried to put my shirt on my legs
(idestroy) and said THESE ARENT MY PANTS
(idestroy) so I got help with that
(idestroy) got walked back to my room
(idestroy) and went back to sleep
(idestroy) woke up the next day
(idestroy) thought it was a dream
(idestroy) called my friend paul
(idestroy) he told me all about it
(idestroy)
(ZS) note to self: never let idestroy have alcohol
(idestroy) there's a facebook group "who pooped on the stairs"