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tomozj · 04-03-2007, 12:13 PM

Here's some more:

Quote:Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

Quote:# When you breath, you inspire. When you don't breath, you expire.
# The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
# A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
# When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
# For head colds, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops into your throat.
# The moon is a planet just like Earth, only deader.
# Artificial insemination is what the farmer does to the cow instead of the bull.
# Dew is formed on leaves when sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
# To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
# Equator: A managerie lion running around Earth through Africa.
# To remove dust from your eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
# Momentum. What you give a person when they are going away.
# Nitrogen is not found in Ireland, because it is not found in a free state.

# Magnet: Something you can find crawling over a dead cat.
# H20 is hot water. CO2 is cold water.
# Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
# Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
# Respiration is composed of inspiration and then expectoration.
# For a nosebleed: Put the nose lower than the body until the heart stops.
# To prevent contraception use a condominium.
# Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

Quote:Q2. What is Courage? (50 marks)

Student's answer
- This is courage.

Quote:Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Quote:Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.

Quote:A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm an economist. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

-tj

**Joeri** · 04-03-2007, 04:18 PM

they have to do an retest, but i dont think it could make any diverens

**tBKwtWS** · 04-03-2007, 06:36 PM

My teacher told me once that light does not have mass, the only error of him was that he did not notice there was a story on black holes in a magazine I read just a week before that, so we were in for a long discussion.
Afterwards he said he just knows whats in the books and doesent know anything about astronomy.

He doesen need 2 i gues but it's very very disturbing that a physics teachers sais light has no mass (how else can we have lessons about prisma's etc)
DAMN FOOLS

Next my match teacher ask me: "this are the results for skating competitions from the past, how do u predict the records will be set in the future"
Well this all depends on human evolution and progress of sience so math turned into philosophy and he got a 3page awnser, hihi.

He read it, was not amused and i had to underline the line that gave the awnser, cuz he read over it.

Or with the same teacher from the first story asked me how it comes we can hear sound (what he wanted to hear was sound source->air(or other mater passing trhought the vibration->sensor, ear) but thats not it at all cuz how it comes that i can hear sound has to do with that and a membrane bones nerves interpetation etc. Well the guy again got a 2 page story what he said was very tiresome.

Anyway what im trying to say is, u can come up with clever awnsers that give u a 0/F on ur test or u can come up with awnsers that give em headackes makes em read the thing 2 times and discuss it with u.

Afterwards finding out that what they want to hear is in it and have 2 change ur grade ,(and not agree lol)
then i always politely ask em to pay more attention next time and watch how they state questions (they never do, so i had a lot of fun at highshool)

I guessed it had 2 stop when one teacher wouldent let me do anymore test and the schoolhead had 2 convice her i was allowed to do the test (so refused me)

Anyways if ur intersted i can search for the thing with the math teahcher and scan it!