Twee website teksten, graag commentaar en aanvullingen!

[Fireburn]

Hallo allemaal, hierbij 2 teksten voor op de nieuwe site, de eerste tekst is het eerste nieuwsbericht wat op de site gepost zal worden, de tweede tekst is de tekst en uitleg pagina over de contest waar de videokaart te winnen is. Graag reacties.

Welkom nieuwsbericht
Hier moeten nog links bij naar de diverse paginas, policies e.d.


Welcome to the brand new Las Venturas Playground website! Over the last months we’ve been working hard to bring you this totally renewed website. This new site is much more interactive and includes a lot of new features, including detailed player, server statistics and awesome WhatPulse statistics. The way we now create our statistics also allows third parties to use our API, in order to create their own cool website with statistics. We are very excited about our new website, it has a lot of great new features, and the layout and look of it has been drastically changed.
But these are not the only cool things that are new. The launch of the new website goes together with a relaunch of Las Venturas Playground. Version 2.0, as we like to call it, is a positive change in many aspects. Las Venturas Playground is now much more transparent. Every policy we have can be viewed, including policies on how we handle your privacy, what rules we have to maintain order and regulations for our staff. Also, we've done some internal changes within the management that will decrease the bureaucracy with discussion inside the management, allowing us to be more dynamic and flexible.
To celebrate this, we’ve set up a competition with an awesome prize you can win by just having fun! This prize is a brand new nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC videocard. Find out how to win this by checking out the contest page.
Again, welcome to our new website, and please take a look around to get as excited about it as we are.

Regards,
The Las Venturas Playground Management




Prijsvraag Tekst

To celebrate the release of the new website and the re-launch of Las Venturas Playground we have come up with a contest. This contest, of course, comes with a great prize, namingly, a free nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC videocard. And you can try to win it too!
So, what do you have to do to win this brand new videocard? The answer is easy, just have fun on the services Las Venturas Playground offers. As you can see on player profiles, we’ve introduced something new, called Karma. Every registered player has it’s own Karma-level, which is calculated using a lot of different statistics, ranging from the number of forumposts you’ve made, to the amount of people who you killed ingame. The more you do, the higher your Karma-level will be.
To win the videocard, all you have to do is to be the player which earns the most Karma in a month. Play, join in on IRC, and post on the forums, and who knows, you might be putting a brand new Graphics Processing Unit in your PC in a month. The contest is open to everyone, newly registered player, and people who’ve been playing on Las Venturas Playground for years, everyone has an equal chance of winning this card.
If you have already registered, there is nothing more you have to do. If you haven’t registered yet, you can do so on our registration page. After a month, the winner will be personally contacted and will be announced on this site, on the forums, and on other Las Venturas Playground services.
Have fun, and good luck in this competition!

[Richard]

Welkom nieuwsbericht:

Beetje overgebruik van het woord cool.

Again, welcome at our new website, and please take a look around to get as excited about it as we are.

to our new website*

<hier nog wat over het sneller behandelen van requests, complaints e.d.>

Ik vind dat het snel genoeg gaat, ze krijgen doorgaans binnen enkele uren reactie, al dan niet binnen een paar minuten.

Prijsvraag tekst:

Vind de bouw van de zinnen niet geweldig, dus eh, rewrite

To celebrate the release of the new website and the re-launch of Las Venturas Playground we have come up with a contest. This contest, of course, comes with a great prize! You can win a completely free nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC videocard! Everyone, except for the crew, is able to participate.
So what does one have to do to win this brand new videocard? The answer is simple; just have fun on the services Las Venturas Playground offers. As you can see on the player profiles, we have introduced something new; karma. Every single registered player has their own karmalevel. This level is calculated using a lot of different statistics. These statistics range from the amount of forumposts you have made to the amount of people you killed ingame. The more you are involved in the community, the higher your level.
In order to win the videocard, you will have the the player that earns the most Karma within a month. From which to which date this will be has yet to be determined. Play on Las Venturas Playground, join in on IRC, post on the forums and who knows, you may just be the winner of this contest! And with that, put this completely new videocard in your computer!

The contest is open to join for every registered player, this includes newly registered players but also people who have been on Las Venturas Playground for years. Everyone has an equal chance of winning.

If you are registered already, there is nothing more you have to do but use our services. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so on our registration page. After a month we will personally contact the winner and announce it on this very website, the forum and other Las Venturas Playground services.

Regards,

The Las Venturas Playground Management

[Fireburn]

Welkom nieuwsbericht:

Beetje overgebruik van het woord cool.to our new website*
Ik vind dat het snel genoeg gaat, ze krijgen doorgaans binnen enkele uren reactie, al dan niet binnen een paar minuten.

Aangepast, minder cool-gebruik, en wat uitleg over 2.0

Prijsvraag tekst:

Vind de bouw van de zinnen niet geweldig, dus eh, rewrite

To celebrate the release of the new website and the re-launch of Las Venturas Playground we have come up with a contest. This contest, of course, comes with a great prize! You can win a completely free nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC videocard! Everyone, except for the crew, is able to participate.

Goed

So what does one have to do to win this brand new videocard? The answer is simple; just have fun on the services Las Venturas Playground offers. As you can see on the player profiles, we have introduced something new; karma. Every single registered player has their own karmalevel. This level is calculated using a lot of different statistics. These statistics range from the amount of forumposts you have made to the amount of people you killed ingame. The more you are involved in the community, the higher your level.

offers. > offers!
on the player profiles > on player profiles
something new > something new:
the higher your level. > the higher your karmalevel will be.

In order to win the videocard, you will have the the player that earns the most Karma within a month. From which to which date this will be has yet to be determined. Play on Las Venturas Playground, join in on IRC, post on the forums and who knows, you may just be the winner of this contest! And with that, put this completely new videocard in your computer!

you will have the the player > you will have to be the player
which to which date > gewoon een maand vanaf de release

The contest is open to join for every registered player, this includes newly registered players but also people who have been on Las Venturas Playground for years. Everyone has an equal chance of winning.

If you are registered already, there is nothing more you have to do but use our services. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so on our registration page. After a month we will personally contact the winner and announce it on this very website, the forum and other Las Venturas Playground services.

Regards,

The Las Venturas Playground Management

prima

[Richard]

Aangepast, minder cool-gebruik, en wat uitleg over 2.0

Top.

offers. > offers!
on the player profiles > on player profiles
something new > something new:
the higher your level. > the higher your karmalevel will be.

Prima.
Vind het met "the" beter.
Ja, staat nu ; en had : moeten zijn inderdaad.
Mja, maakt niet heel veel uit imo.

you will have the the player > you will have to be the player
which to which date > gewoon een maand vanaf de release

Err, ja.
Ja, dat weet ik nu nog niet hè


Edit: Rewrite van Harry nog, voor de 2e:

To celebrate the release of the new website, and the relaunch of Las Venturas Playground, we have come up with a contest. This contest, of course, comes with a great prize! You can win a completely, free nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC video card! Everyone, excluding Las Venturas Playground crew, is able to participate. So what does one have to do to win this brand new video card? The answer is simple: Just have fun on the services Las Venturas Playground has to offer. As you can see on the players profiles, we have introduced something new, Karma. Every single registered player has their own Karma level. In order to win the video card, you will have to be the player that earns the highest Karma level within a month. From which to which which date this will happen, has yet to be determined. Play on Las Venturas Playground, join in on IRC, post on the forums, and who knows, you may just be the winner of this contest! And with that, put this completely new video card in your computer!

The contest is open to every registered player, this does not only include newly registered players, but also people who have been on Las Venturas Playground for years. Everyone has an equal chance of winning.

If you are registered already, there is nothing more you have to do but use our services. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so on our registration page. After a month we will personally contact the winner and announce it on this very website, the forum, and other Las Venturas Playground services.

Regards
The Las Venturas Playground Management

[Peter]

Een pagina op de website hoeft niet afgesloten te worden met groetjes. Voor een nieuwsbericht is dat wel prima.

[Fireburn]

Een pagina op de website hoeft niet afgesloten te worden met groetjes. Voor een nieuwsbericht is dat wel prima.

lol @ picture Anyways, goed punt, heb het aangepast.

[Fireburn]

Pre-Final Versie:
Welkom nieuwsbericht
Hier moeten nog links bij naar de diverse paginas, policies e.d. Deze zet ik er in zodra het een nieuwsbericht wordt.


Welcome to the brand new Las Venturas Playground website! Over the last months we’ve been working hard to bring you this totally renewed website. This new site is much more interactive and includes a lot of new features, including detailed player, server statistics and awesome WhatPulse statistics. The way we now create our statistics also allows third parties to use our API, in order to create their own cool website with statistics. We are very excited about our new website, it has a lot of great new features, and the layout and look of it has been drastically changed.
But these are not the only cool things that are new. The launch of the new website goes together with a relaunch of Las Venturas Playground. Version 2.0, as we like to call it, is a positive change in many aspects. Las Venturas Playground is now much more transparent. Every policy we have can be viewed, including policies on how we handle your privacy, what rules we have to maintain order and regulations for our staff. Also, we've done some internal changes within the management that will decrease the bureaucracy with discussion inside the management, allowing us to be more dynamic and flexible.
To celebrate this, we’ve set up a competition with an awesome prize you can win by just having fun! This prize is a brand new nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC videocard. Find out how to win this by checking out the contest page.
Again, welcome to our new website, and please take a look around to get as excited about it as we are.

Regards,
The Las Venturas Playground Management




Prijsvraag tekst:
To celebrate the release of the new website, and the relaunch of Las Venturas Playground, we have come up with a contest. This contest, of course, comes with a great prize! You can win a completely, free nVidia PNY GTX 260-OC video card! Everyone, excluding Las Venturas Playground crew, is able to participate. So what does one have to do to win this brand new video card? The answer is simple: Just have fun on the services Las Venturas Playground has to offer. As you can see on players profiles, we have introduced something new, Karma. Every single registered player has their own Karma level. In order to win the video card, you will have to be the player that gets the highest Karma level increase within a month. The start date of this contest has still to be determined. Play on Las Venturas Playground, join in on IRC, post on the forums, and who knows, you may just be the winner of this contest! And with that, put this completely new video card in your computer!

The contest is open to every registered player, this does not only include newly registered players, but also people who have been on Las Venturas Playground for years. Everyone has an equal chance of winning.

If you are registered already, there is nothing more you have to do but use our services. If you haven't registered yet, you can do so on our registration page. After a month we will personally contact the winner and announce it on this very website, the forum, and other Las Venturas Playground services.


Ook hier geldt, links komen er binnenkort bij, ik ben nu even weg tot half 11.
Daarna ga ik de prijspagina online proberen te krijgen

[Sander]

Ik zeg: Prima.