My 2nd movie(Hobos in town part 1)

[Chaos#wolf]

  Hey guys! this is my 2nd movie pls gimme feedback

[youtube=425,350]cs29-eNKPWQ[/youtube]

[tomozj]

Great movie! And AMAZING quality

What format did you upload it as?

-tj

[Chaos#wolf]

erm wow that was a fast reply lol thnx, n umm i used wmv format

[XL]

Lol! Funny and nice movie! 

_{Nice FPS. Now I see how it is to have a good computer. I play with 30 fps or even lower.}

[Chaos#wolf]

thnx  n yeah u should get a new pc or an upgrade it makes a real difference

[Ronin]

I should get a new PC. With my Athlon XP 1700+ and 256 MB RAM, I have an average of 10FPS. ><

The movie turned out to be good (cool music and awesome quality), but short. I'd really like to see what happens then when hobos kill the officer and you attempt to escape. Also, the dialogues are full of small errors ("dont", "cant", etc), and there are IMO too few of them. Next time, put more dialogues!

[Chaos#wolf]

dont cant i cant see any errors in that,anyway this is just part 1 in part 2 Chaos is gonna go to revenge himself

thnx for tha feedback man

[Ronin]

Well, look:

TITLE 1:
"What a nice night i cant wait to crash in the motel"
It should be:
"What a nice night, I can't wait to crash in the motel."

TITLE 2:
"A hobo gang? you dont see that everyday"
It should be:
"A hobo gang? You don't see that everyday."

TITLE 3:
"WTF! omg please leave me alone"
It should be:
"What the fuck?! Oh my God, please, leave me alone!" (please, man, don't put internet shortcuts to the dialogue)

TITLE 4:
"2 days later"
It should be:
Umm, it happens to be OK. Some periods would be nice, though.

TITLE 5:
"Im back from the hospital ,now i have to report this." (Wow, you used a period and a comma!)
It should be:
"I'm back from the hospital, now I have to report this."

TITLE 6:
"Chaos:officer two nights i was attacked by a gang they almost killed me can you help?

Officer:sure show me where they hang around.

Chaos:Thank you officer :D" (Well, in fact, they DID kill you, or that one noob named Ronin who b*tches about his crappy PC all the time and has all those terrible gamelags.)
It should be:
"Chaos: Officer, two nights ago, I was attacked by a gang. They almost killed me! Can you help?

Officer: Sure. Show me where they hang around.

Chaos: Thank you, officer!" (No emotes too, plx)

TITLE 13 - 6:
"Chaos:there they are officer.

Officer:ok watch and learn young man.

Chaos:Yes sir! :D"
It should be:
"Chaos: There they are, officer.

Officer: Ok. Watch and learn, young man.

Chaos: Yes, sir!"

TITLE 8:
"Oh shit they killed him! OMFG! ive got to get away from this crazy bastards"
It should be:
"Oh, shit! They killed him! I've got to get away from those crazy bastards!"

BTW: I can correct errors in your next movie if you want. :)

[tomozj]

Meh. While we're on the point of correcting you, it'd be nicer if you put the text over the video, so we could see what was going on as they 'say' it (subtitles).

-tj

[Chaos#wolf]

lols about tha corrections im not making some kinda bloody formal letter it only reminds me of school
btw i hate making text over the video cause then u cant see whats really going on you are reading the text instead