Post your IRC quotes!

[Rien]

Sombody is going Crazy !  :7

<s0mb0dy> Kutje
<s0mb0dy> als ik in me volgend lefen een meisje woord woord ik een lesbian

[20:32:36] <+[GoT]Scheermes> <s0mb0dy> als ik in me volgend lefen weer een jongen ben word ik wéér homo

I guess this is getting a little dutchy

or something

EDIT: tried to translate it:

<s0mb0dy> pussy
<s0mb0dy> if I'll be a girl in my next life I'll be a lesbian

<[GoT]Scheermes> <s0mb0dy> if I'll be a boy in my next life I'll be gay agáin!

[tomozj]

I request that you either provide translations for all of your Dutch quotes, or leave them unposted, as this is the English section.

[FiXeR]

Ahwell, one of the best quotes I've ever seen is....ehm...my sig 

[Rien]

[20:51:20] <s0mb0dy> <Jay> Coming?
[20:51:25] <~Makaveli> lol
[20:51:26] <s0mb0dy> ^no i'm cumming
[20:51:27] <~Jay> rofl



@tomozj: translated my post

[DCreations]

<[LVPA]Chris5170>; lol that was like i was in LVF
<[LVPA]Chris5170>; But Now i am changed
<Lukas[LTU]> sex ? -.-

[Bakura]

Nice topic, maybe I should contribute some of the quotes I collected over the past few months
There is some dutch stuff, but also english, translations are provided.

We all know Peter has quite a ego, but this beats everything in my opinion ("ik" is dutch for "I" in english):

[20:08] *** Peter (peter@gtanet-50D8DC0F.upc-e.chello.nl) joined
[20:08] *** Table sets channel #LVP.crew mode +qo Peter Peter
[20:08] <@BakuraRyou> Peter
[20:08] <%Jorijn> Peter
[20:09] <~Peter> .
[20:09] <~Peter> ik

We all like Peter, admit it! Problem though, Peter figured that too when I founded #LVP.18+ back in the days :

In #LVP.18+:
[21:29] <~Peter> ik weet het, ik ben heet, ik ben opwindend, fantaseert U maar door over mij
(English translation: [21:29] <~Peter> I know, I'm hot, I'm exciting, keep fantasizing about me)

(#LVP.18+ was a adult channel back in the days when Peter was 17, and GTAnet allowed that channel, Rippance even provided a bot that could search pr0n sites )

Peter might be annoying sometimes, but he can also be a great help for admins:

*** Admin Peter: dont mind the chitreports
*** Admin Peter: I'm doing it.
*** [nick] banned for increase > 10.000.000.
x20
*** Admin Peter: fuck
Peter: I just banned 20 people
Peter: cool
Peter: I guess I better go unban them
Peter: oops

However, sometimes he isn't much of a help though. Especially if you're a management-member, and Peter is just back from his holiday:

(10:30:29) (%Bakura) WELKE KLOTEMONGOOL BANT ME
(10:31:02) (~Peter) DAT ZAL IK WEL GEWEEST ZIJN HÉ
(10:31:07) (~Peter)
(10:31:15) (%Bakura) OH, EN DAN MOET IK ZEKER DANKBAAR ZIJN/
(10:31:37) (~Peter) TENZEI JE WILT DAT IK JE HIER OOK BAN

English Translation:
(10:30:29) (%Bakura) WHICH FUCKING MORON BANNED ME?
(10:31:02) (~Peter) THAT WOULD BE ME, WOULDN'T IT?
(10:31:07) (~Peter)
(10:31:15) (%Bakura) OH, AND NOW I'VE GOT TO THANK YOU FOR THAT?
(10:31:37) (~Peter) UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BAN YOU HERE AS WELL

(for those who speak english: I yell at Peter since he banned me, because he just returned from his holiday, and I happend to be ingame )

That wasn't the only fight we ever had. Peter once dared to say I'm emo, which is a *very* stupid thing to do. I was thinking of a way to get revenge on him, when I noticed he was ingame:

[20:35] <@BakuraRyou> !kick 7 I AM NOT EMO!!!
[20:35] <+Nuwani> *** Peter has been kicked by BakuraRyou (I AM NOT EMO!!!)
[20:35] <+Nuweni> [7] *** Peter left the game.
[20:35] <@Klotebot> *** Peter's session lasted 7 minutes and 50 seconds.
[20:35] <&Rico> PWNED
[20:35] * BakuraRyou runs

After that, Peter was whining about admin-abuse

I know it's a lot of Peter, but he provides us with a lot of good quotes and good fun

Not LVP related, but a funny story anyway:

<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..
<Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there...
<third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off..
<third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice.
<third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted.
<third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.
<third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.
<third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot.
<third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.

That's it for now, more (hopefully) soon!

[Maka]

A day with Richella @ #Coldthugz:

* Richella has joined #coldthugz
<Jay> Juicey Osstie => http://forum.sa-mp.com/index.php?topic=29361.15
<Richella> oooh s0mmy
<Makaveli> there's Rippance
<s0mb0dy> no Breezah
<Makaveli> SHIT
<s0mb0dy>
<Richella> s0mmyw0mmy
<Makaveli> Richella*
<Makaveli> lol
<s0mb0dy> Richella ?
<Jay> wait
<Jay> No
<Jay> http://forum.sa-mp.com/index.php?topic=29361.0
* Cave changes topic to '6Welcome to the Official channel of the M&C&P Gang - 4Makaveli & Cave & Peters Slut Gang! 13Welcome our new member! s0mb0dy! Welkom! 3 Peter slutting ownage skills!'
<Makaveli> ^
<Makaveli> sweet
<s0mb0dy> haha!
<Jay> Cave ffs
<s0mb0dy> cl0wned
* Richella cuddles s0mb0dy's weeny
<Makaveli> lmfao
<Cave> Pwnt
<s0mb0dy> Peter Stfu
<Jay> Stop fucking with the channel Or I will make a new rank known as the "Twats" and Put you at the top
<Makaveli> teeny weeny
<s0mb0dy> jay i know
<Cave> Lmfao
<Jay> j/k
<Cave> pwnt
<Jay> http://forum.sa-mp.com/index.php?topic=29361.0
<Makaveli> La Twatz*
<s0mb0dy> Jay i know the object thingie i got it
<Jay> coolio
<s0mb0dy> Peter = pervert
<s0mb0dy>
<Bandit> s0mb0dy in CT now???
<Cave> i r be leader of lé twatz
<Peter> yea Bandit
* Makaveli sets mode: +v Richella
<Jay> oost is starting the base code
<Peter> he got requirted
<oostcoast> jay, shall I send cyrix an memo?
* Peter sets mode: +h s0mb0dy
<Bandit> Nice!
<s0mb0dy>
* Peter sets mode: -h s0mb0dy
<Makaveli>
<oostcoast> lol
* Cave sets mode: -o Peter
<s0mb0dy> i'm not Bandit
<Makaveli> Lmfao
<Jay> sure
<s0mb0dy> i'm B&A
<Peter> Cyrix' birthday was yesterday!
<Cave> Naughty!
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Peter
<Bandit> haha! xD
<Cave> NEVER HOP S0M
<Peter> I tried to reach him
<Jay> o_0
<Makaveli> Cyrix?
<Bandit> 3playing: "Nightwish - Cadence of Her Last Breath" .:256kbps|Stereo|4:14:.
<Peter> yea Makaveli
<Cave> Chits!
<s0mb0dy> lets find an GF for peter
<Makaveli> i guess s0mb0dy gave him a lapdance
<Cave> Peter you NAB
<s0mb0dy> Peter what wil it be ?
<Cave> >>>>
<s0mb0dy> who ?
<s0mb0dy> him ?
<Richella> s0mb0dy have you ever touched a real tit? 25 euro's one time only
<Jay> !kb Cave People with boobs implemented to there heads is not allowed, sorry
<Jay> does
<Makaveli> sweet c'mon s0m
<Jay> doh
<Makaveli> don't let that offer get away
<s0mb0dy> Richella fuck of your tities are too smal!
<s0mb0dy> you cant even touch anything
<Cave> OWNED.
<Jay> LOL
<s0mb0dy>
<Richella> you think double F is small?
* Makaveli grabs Richella's tit.
<s0mb0dy> uhu
<Bandit>
* Cave sets mode: -e Cave!*@*
<Jay> Sup B
<Richella> damn man ur standards are high
<Bandit> yoyo
<Richella> my tits are larger then ur weeny anyway
<s0mb0dy> <Richella> you think double F is small? < net lola Feraria maar dan mislukt
<Makaveli> lal
<Richella> regardless of how small they are
<Jay> <+Richella> my tits are larger then ur weeny anyway => NEW SIG
* Cave sets mode: +e Cave!*@*
<s0mb0dy> Richella who are you bdw ??
<Makaveli> great ;P.
<Jay> s0m hasn't got a weaner
<Makaveli> Richella is my newest catch
<Richella> not saying im maka
<Jay> Cave bit it off
<Cave> No
<s0mb0dy> rfol
<s0mb0dy> rofl
<Richella> you can't even write rofl without a typo
<s0mb0dy> <Jay> s0m hasn't got a weaner < mine is bigger the yours!
<Makaveli> lmfao
<Richella> is that so s0mb0dy?
<Richella> PICS PICS PICS
<s0mb0dy> Richella ...
<Cave> You ALL Suck!
<Richella> bet you wish Cave
<Makaveli> <Nuwani> 4Upload Service: http://bin.sa-mp.nl/
<s0mb0dy> Richella the problem is you wank on hentai porn...
<Cave> You ALL Suck!
<s0mb0dy>
<Makaveli> Upload them
<s0mb0dy> Richella the problem is you wank on hentai porn...
<Richella> can't get a normal girl so you turned to us for a blowjob?
<Cave> You ALL Suck!
<Richella> u sunk low Cave
<Makaveli>
<Cave> You sucnk even lower, You ALL Suck!
<Cave> You ALL Suck!
<s0mb0dy> Richella i heard you got an tiny pussy
<oostcoast> jay? wtf
<Makaveli>
<s0mb0dy> and an hairy on
<Makaveli> she's hawt
<s0mb0dy> IEHL!!!
* Bandit takes a beautiful Snuff, and watch the unusual talk on the channel
<Sammo> lol
* SammoBot laughs )
<Cave> Go and eat some chips and play Runescape and get some Jolly EXP
<s0mb0dy>
<Richella> still large enough for you to get lost in s0mb0dy
<Cave> Go and eat some chips and play Runescape and get some Jolly EXP
<SammoBot> hey! be nice!
<Richella> Im nice and tight
<Richella> that's hot
<Makaveli> lmfao
<s0mb0dy> Richella hmms good answer
<Cave> s0m
<s0mb0dy> Richella i bet you an breezah....
<Richella> CAVE STFU U NOOB
<s0mb0dy> BREEZAH
<Makaveli> thank god for mIRC logs
<Richella> me and s0m are talking
<Cave> I told you once, and i will tell you again
<s0mb0dy> yea!
* Richella undresses
<Cave> You SUCK
<Richella> come on s0mb0dyjoin me
* Richella unties s0mb0dy's pants
<Cave> Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
<Makaveli> hell yer
* Richella pulls down his undies
<Richella> OMGWTFDUDEGALWTFAREU
<Makaveli> all be quiet i wanna watch.
<Richella> im not sure
<Cave> LMFAO Undies
<Richella> no weeny yet no pussy either
<SammoBot> what's the problem?
<Makaveli> lmfao
<Cave> LOL Sammobot
<Cave> .i.
<SammoBot> )))
<s0mb0dy> iehl Richella you got an DICK!!
<s0mb0dy> IEHL
<Jay> sammbot
<Jay> die
<Bandit> The p.i.m.p is calling on his hooo..
<s0mb0dy> ....
<Richella> GUYS USUALLY GO S0MB0DY
<s0mb0dy> Feget
<Richella> pay attention at school u losah
<Sammo> whahaha
<SammoBot> hehe
* Cave changes topic to '6Welcome to the Official channel of the M&C&P Gang - 4Makaveli & Cave & Peters Slut Gang! 13Welcome our new member! s0mb0dy! Welkom! 3 Peter slutting ownage skills! 4New member! Richella!'
<s0mb0dy> Richella dont talk like an Breezah
<s0mb0dy>
<Makaveli> Sweet.
<SammoBot> hey! be nice!
<Richella> at least I'm old enough to buy breezers s0mb0dy
<Sammo> whaah
<Makaveli> pwnt .
<s0mb0dy> Peter if you now stop i wil give you Hentai porn k
<Richella> you're stuck on juice
<s0mb0dy> Richella you stupid an Breezah is an stupid slut that acts drunk on an breezer.
* Cave sets mode: -n
* ChanServ sets mode: +n
<Cave> rofl
<Makaveli> thats hot
<Makaveli> drunken Richella ftw
<s0mb0dy> if you want pics or vids just pm me
* Cave sets mode: +s
* Cave sets mode: -s
<Makaveli> omg
<Richella> the fact stands that I'm old enough to buy a breezer while you're standing in the corner with the other kids and a glass of bubble-free coke
<Makaveli> t/msg s0mb0dy PICS
<Cave> i like playing with modes you nab
<Bandit> haha
<SammoBot> cool
<s0mb0dy> uhu :0
<s0mb0dy> thats why i'm cool
<s0mb0dy>
<Makaveli> bubblefree coke haha
<SammoBot>
<Cave> lol
<Cave> SammoBot
<SammoBot> look 4 me and never find me
<SammoBot> what's so funny?
<Cave> SammoBot
<SammoBot> Cave
<Cave> .i.
<Richella> it must be hard being you s0mb0dy
<s0mb0dy> you think you can win it from an 13 year old Hyperactive Pervert crazy kid??!?!?!
<Richella> every morning looking in the mirror
<Makaveli> lmfao
<Richella> "OMG WTF THE ALIENS ARE COMING"
<Makaveli> LOL
<s0mb0dy> lol
* Bandit shares his Sambuca with Richella
<SammoBot> )))
<Richella> "shit forgot my makeup"
* s0mb0dy = ROFL
<SammoBot> )))
<Richella> YOU FUCKING EMO
<s0mb0dy> Richella the only Emo in the freaking channel is YOU!!
<Makaveli> Hot
<s0mb0dy> go fuck you emo frends
<s0mb0dy> or get fucking lost!
<s0mb0dy> Retarts
<Richella> emo's are awesome for short term relationships
<s0mb0dy> you dont even got any frends bitch!
<Makaveli> hmm
<Richella> you can rape them and they'll kill themselfes afterwards anyway
<s0mb0dy> so what you acting cool ?
<Makaveli> good that i know
<s0mb0dy> Richella .....
* Cave changes topic to '6Welcome to the Official channel of the M&C&P Gang - 4Makaveli & Cave & Peters Slut Gang! 13Welcome our new member! s0mb0dy! Welkom! 3 Peter slutting ownage skills! 4New member! Richella! Welcome new SLUTS!'
<s0mb0dy> Richella i rember somting
<s0mb0dy> wasnt you that lonly girl in the disco ??
<Richella> what? THAT SESAMESTREET IS OVER AND U NEED TO GO 2 BED?
<Makaveli>
<s0mb0dy> erm yea that too Richella
<Richella> sorry s0mb0dy i don't go to childrendisco
<s0mb0dy> Richella i ejoyd the talking
<Makaveli> lonely hot girls in a disco ftw
<s0mb0dy> Koedjie Koedjie Richella
<Makaveli> .
* Richella has quit IRC (Quit: LVP Webchat - Visit us at www.SA-MP.nl)
<Makaveli>
<Makaveli> nice snitched
<Bandit> Grooouuuhl!! Heroes to us!! HerOOOes to Uuuus!!!
<Bandit> 3playing: "Kalmah - heroes to us" .:192kbps|Stereo|5:10:.
<Sammo>
<SammoBot> blah...
* Bandit Have signed up for a lottery with a jackpot of 9million dollar's on the internet. Playd/bet for 82$. Result on friday. Think im gonna win anything?
* Cave has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<Makaveli> rofl
<Makaveli> i hope you do
<Sammo> !stats
<SammoBot> [Sammo] Spoken words: 12 (55 letters) Commands used 1. 11 lines and 0 actions.
<Firebot> WINBOT PROCESSING STATISTICS
<Firebot> 
<Sammo> !tstats Sammo
<SammoBot> [Sammo] Spoken words today: 13 (61 letters) Commands used today 2. 12 lines and 0 actions.
<Firebot> Current output buffer size:    000000000
<Firebot> Total number of bytes sent:    000056638
<Sammo> hmm
<Firebot> Total number of bytes recieved: 000730716
<Sammo> !stats Sammo
<SammoBot> [Sammo] Spoken words: 16 (77 letters) Commands used 3. 14 lines and 0 actions.
<Makaveli> !stats Richella
<SammoBot> [Richella] Spoken words: 245 (1272 letters) Commands used 0. 37 lines and 4 actions.
<Makaveli> lal

That was great, s0mb0dy loved it

[TriggeR]

(+[GoT]Razor) kut
(+[GoT]Razor) ik zit vast..
(+[GoT]Razor) in mn bureaustoel
(+[GoT]Razor) met mn been tussen de armleuningen
(+[GoT]Razor) gisteren zat ik ook al met mn hoofd vast in het net van een voetbal goal

Tranlation:

(+[GoT]Razor) fuck
(+[GoT]Razor) I'm stuck..
(+[GoT]Razor) In my deskchair
(+[GoT]Razor) with my legs through the arms
(+[GoT]Razor) yesterday my head was stuck in one of the holes of a soccer goal net too

lmfao xD

[Richard]

<s0mb0dy> you think you can win it from an 13 year old Hyperactive Pervert crazy kid??!?!?!

@[GoT]Razor: Usuk

[Rico]

Tranlation:
lmfao xD