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this quote is from 'het flauwe grappen topic' in the dutch section, so it might contain some duth here and there
Quote:Razor link=topic=715.msg23174#msg23174 date=1182722605]
langste post ooit?
API - Time Magazine meldt een interessant geval van high-tech graffiti. Het lijkt erop dat een stel medewerkers van Intel, bezig met de ontwikkeling van een nieuwe versie van de Pentium microprocessor, een boodschap met daarin hun gevoelens voor Bill Gates hebben aangebracht. Wanneer een gedeelte van de Pentium chip onder een sterke elektronenmicroscoop wordt vergroot, is de zin "bill sux" duidelijk leesbaar.
De opmerking op de chip werd bij toeval ontdekt, maar pas nadat al duizenden chips op de markt waren gebracht. Te laat voor Intel om te voorkomen dat de chip in duizenden PC's zou worden ingebouwd. Intel meldt dat de beide medewerkers vroeger werkten voor Motorola. Motorola maakt de chips die het hart vormen van de Apple Macintosh. Beide medewerkers zijn ontslagen.
The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test
Close your eyes and press escape three times
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."
To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."
BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
User Error: Replace user.
Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...
If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster
Access denied---nah nah na nah nah!
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (P)anic
(A)bort, ®etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, ®etry, (G)et a beer?
System going down at 4:45 this afternoon for disk caching
SENILE.COM found ... Out Of Memory ...
Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way
Microsoft today published the full bug list for its Windows 2000 operating system. For the first time ever, all known and reported bugs are to be made available to the public. Mr Hyan-Lee of Japan (photographed above) made the mistake of printing the whole list.
/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft© Code
Project: DESI
Projected release-date: Winter 2000
*/
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if(still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if(detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if(fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if(system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}
ehh... dat waren ze dan